Handsome Widower’s Second Chance Read online

  Adam sighed. Kyle was right. She would have gone to see Doc Brown in Wickenburg if she’d been having any troubling pains. “She didn’t seem to have any problems. I… I just didn’t see anything wrong.”

  “Well, don’t go blaming yourself. There’s no way you could have known anyway. You’re not a doctor.”

  Adam clenched his jaw. He was numb from the loss of his wife. He wondered how he was going to get through without her. “I worry for Riley and Max. Especially Riley. How can she carry on without her mother? We are all in pain and will be for some time. But a little girl without her mother…” he shook his head, mournfully. “It isn’t right.”

  “If you need to get out some frustration, come to the Horse N Saddle Saloon later. I’ll sit with you. We’ll talk about it.” Kyle slapped his brother on the shoulder and gave him a squeeze. “I’m always here for you, my brother.”

  Adam looked at him. “I appreciate you riding down from Wisconsin. It’s a long trip. You didn’t have to do it.”

  “I did have to do it,” Kyle said firmly. “You are my brother. I have to support you in your time of grief. Mama and Papa would have come but their health is ailing and it wouldn’t have been an easy trip for them.”

  “I understand.”

  “I know you do. They send their condolences. They liked Holly, shoot, they loved the girl. We all did. Everyone did.” Kyle scanned the crowd of people. A small line had formed in front of the table where the small cakes, pastries, and drinks had been laid out. Adam wasn’t surprised when the children headed toward the table. One of the little girls from town named Christie had taken Riley’s hand and they were skipping.

  Adam tried not to feel resentful. He wanted to be carefree and happy again. His heart was heavy and he was in a constant battle not to break down in tears.

  “You know, Kyle, it feels like all the color has gone out of my life. It’s as if I’m in a fog or a dream and I can’t find my way out.”

  Kyle nodded, once again grabbing his brother’s shoulder and squeezing. “I understand, Adam. I know it isn’t the same pain that we felt when Andrew died. But you know I understand.”

  Adam nodded, thinking about their brother, who had died after being thrown from a horse when he was 21. “I know you are in pain. It’s probably going to be like that for a while. It will take time to adjust to your new life. You know Mama and Papa still feel pain from losing Andrew. We all do.”

  Adam said nothing and Kyle continued.

  “I know there’s not much I can say to ease your pain, brother. Just know that I’m here and I will listen when or if you want to talk. About anything, it doesn’t have to be Holly.” Just hearing her name sent a pang of deep pain through Adam’s chest. “We can talk about whatever you want. All… I guess all I can say is, please just try to show Riley and Max how strong you are. It’s okay if they see you upset about this because it shows you’re human. However, don’t let them think this will break you or they won’t be able to come to you when they are in pain. They may not be acting it out now, but it will come in time, and then they will need you, and they’ll need to know you will be there for them.”

  Adam glanced over at his brother. “Those are very wise words, Kyle. Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome, brother. I love you and I’m here for you for whatever you need.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Adam was glad he’d come from a family that expressed their feelings openly. He knew of no other family that did so. His mother and father had taught their three sons to be communicative in everything they did. He could hear his mother now – “If you don’t tell someone how you feel, how will they know how to respond?”

  He smiled. It was a good feeling, considering his tears were always caught in his throat and every muscle in his body was tense.

  “Are you sleeping all right?”

  Adam nodded.

  “What about the children? Are they sleeping? No nightmares?”

  “Not yet. If they have, I haven’t seen it. I didn’t have nightmares after Andrew.”

  “Mama did. She said she kept running to get to him but could never reach him.”

  Adam felt a wave of sorrow. Kyle saw the look on his face and blanched, feeling guilt and regret that he’d brought their brother up. “I apologize, Adam. Let’s not talk about Andrew. What would you like to do? Do you want to go get some refreshing snacks?”

  A quick smile lit up Adam’s face for a brief moment before it disappeared again. “I… I do. I’m hungry.”

  Kyle raised his eyebrows. “You are?”

  Adam looked at him. “Yeah.”

  “Well, that’s a good sign. At least you are hungry and willing to eat.”

  “Like you said, my wise little brother, I have to stay strong for Riley and Max. How would they feel if I simply wasted away? I won’t let that happen. I have work to do and they need to see that I can carry on.”

  “It’s gonna be hard but it will be worth it, I guarantee.”

  The two men walked toward the table, but the crowd that had attended the funeral and burial were all gathered around it and they couldn’t reach it. They stood on the outside of the crowd, hands in their pockets, watching as people smiled and listening as they reminisced about something funny, odd, or creative Holly had done.

  Adam was proud of his late wife. She had made so many friends. She had helped so many people. The bake sales she had put on to support various causes for the Wickenburg people were always highly successful. They had given her rave reviews for her performances in the church plays. She belonged to a book club, the sewing circle, and the women’s Bible study group. He could hear nothing but good things coming from them all.

  “Adam?”

  He turned to see Holly’s family approaching. They had stood by his side at the funeral and burial but had escaped the scene just after the pastor was finished. He didn’t know where they had gone. It wasn’t his business to know. He lifted one hand in greeting, waiting for them to reach him.

  Holly’s sister, Alice, was nearly a perfect likeness to her. They both resembled their mother. In their family, the girls had taken after their mother and their son, Nathan, looked just like his father. They were good people. Adam respected them. They worked hard, got along with each other and the people of Wickenburg. Holly’s grandfather, John Wesley, had co-founded Wickenburg with two other men. They’d built the city up just before the gold rush. Now men and a handful of brave women were flooding the area in search of a gold strike.

  The Wesley family was moving slowly today. They were not as close-knit as Adam’s family, but they loved each other and their pain was like a beacon shining from them that day. He waited patiently, slightly nervous because of the situation. He hoped they were not upset with him for what had happened. He would never have let anything happen to Holly. If he could have given his life for hers, he would have.

  “How are you holding up, son?” Holly’s father, Charles, held out his hand for Adam to shake. When Adam took it, the older man pulled him into a one-arm hug. He was a large man, with a full beard and mustache. He made Adam feel like a little boy whenever he was around him.

  “I’m holding on, Chuck, with everything I have. I’m just holding on.”

  Charles nodded. “I understand, Adam. You were a good husband to my Holly. I’m glad she found you so quickly after you moved here. She snatched you up from all of those other ladies, didn’t she?” His smile did not negate the intense pain in his eyes. Adam nodded back.

  “She sure did, sir. She sure did.”

  “We had a lot of hopes for her and you helped fulfill most of them. She was loved in town, had many friends, and you gave her two beautiful children.”

  “Where are Max and Riley, Adam?” Holly’s mother, Caroline, scanned the crowd of children. “Oh! There they are. I’m going over there. Alice, come with me.”

  Alice nodded. “Yes, Mother.” Before she walked away from the men, Alice took Adam’s hand in both of hers and held on for a f
ew moments, looking into his eyes. “Adam, if you need anything, if you need help with the children or housework or anything, you will let me know, won’t you? If you need someone to talk to, you know I am here.”

  “I will, Alice. Thank you.” He found it difficult to look into her eyes. She looked so much like an older version of Holly.

  Alice waited another moment and squeezed his hand before letting go. She kept her eyes on him as she walked toward the group of children, her concern obvious on her face.

  “I encourage you to take advantage of Alice’s offer, Adam. She has always been good with your children.”

  “They love her,” Adam said quietly. His eyes moved from Alice and Caroline to Riley and Max. Riley was sitting in the grass with her skirt spread out around her. She had set one of her cakes on the cloth so that it wouldn’t be directly on the ground. She and Christie were smiling at each other. He wondered what they were talking about that was making them smile. To her left, a few feet away, Max was sitting on a wooden bench with a few other boys. They were not laughing and smiling like the girls. From the looks on their faces, whatever they were discussing seemed serious and important.

  “You have raised two beautiful, wonderful children, Adam,” Charles said, grabbing his shoulder the way Kyle had done previously. “You should be very proud of yourself. Carrie and I have always been proud of you and Holly. Please continue to consider yourself a member of this family. We don’t want you to think you are on your own now. You are not. Remember that. You are not alone. We are here for you.”

  Adam nodded, grateful for his in-laws. “Thank you, sir.”

  “The womenfolk are gonna miss Holly,” Nathan said, his voice low. Of all the people in the family, he looked the most tearful. Adam suspected he was holding in his tears as much as he could but his heart was broken by the loss of his sister. Holly had helped raise her little brother when their mother caught scarlet fever when he was ten. Holly was five years older than him and had taken over motherhood duties while Caroline fought off the illness. Thankfully, she had recovered from the illness, though she’d remained weak afterward. Nathan looked up at Adam. “They thought the world of her.”

  Adam nodded. “I know. It’s a loss for everyone in Wickenburg.”

  CHAPTER TWO

  HOLLY’S FAMILY

  HOLLY’S FAMILY

  Alice and Caroline went to Riley first. As the little girl in the family, she would feel the impact of the loss of her mother more than anyone else. She was going to need motherly love, and both women were willing to give it.

  “Granny!” Riley jumped up, spilling the crumbs from her skirt and throwing her arms around Caroline. “Granny! Granny!”

  Caroline bent over and wrapped her arms around the little girl. “Look at you, eating cakes and pies. You are going to be very hyper later, aren’t you?”

  “I’m already hyper, Granny. Hi, Aunt Alice. Do you want some pie? The cherry is delicious. Mrs. Margaret made it. She always makes good pies. You have to get a slice!”

  Alice smiled wide. “Of course, I will, then, Riley, if you say I should.”

  Riley’s eyes grew wide and she nodded. “Oh, you must! You must!”

  “What about me, Riley?” Caroline asked in a teasing voice. “Should I get some pie, as well?”

  Riley looked at her grandmother doubtfully. “Do you like pie?”

  Caroline laughed. “Why of course I do.”

  Riley’s doubt disappeared from her face and she smiled. “Then you should have some pie. Come, I will show you which one it is. And you can have some lemonade, too, if you want.”

  The women laughed as Riley grabbed their hands and pulled them along behind her. Suddenly, the little girl stopped and looked over her shoulder. “Come on, Christie! Granny and Aunt Alice want pie!”

  Christie had been busy putting the small cake crumbs from her skirt into her mouth. She looked up and then jumped to her feet. She swiped at her skirt to remove the remaining crumbs and ran after them.

  “The pie is so good, Mrs. Caroline.” Christie grabbed the older woman’s other hand as if she was her grandmother, too. “You will think so when you take a bite. I just know it.”

  “I’m sure I will like it very much, my dear.”

  They had reached the crowd around the table, which had disbursed some since the men came over. Riley busied herself requesting a piece of pie for each of the ladies and watching closely as the woman behind the table scooped out and plated several pieces.

  “You should have this one, Aunt Alice.” She reached over the table and grabbed one of the plates, turning to hand it to Alice, who took it gently. Riley turned back to grab a fork. Then she took another plated piece of pie after scanning each one carefully. “This one is yours, Granny.” She said, handing it to Caroline.

  “Thank you, Riley.”

  The little girl stared up at the women expectantly, waiting for them to each take a bite so she could gauge their reactions. Once they did and raised their eyebrows in a show of approval, she smiled wide. “I knew you would like it!” She exclaimed happily. “This was mama’s favorite!”

  Immediate tears came to Alice’s eyes. She looked at her mother, who seemed to have had the same reaction. Alice continued to eat the pie but allowed silent tears to roll down her cheeks. Riley tugged on her skirt.

  “Aunt Alice, don’t be sad. Mama is in Heaven with Jesus. She’s okay.”

  The tears were unstoppable at that point. “I know, Riley. I just miss her.”

  Riley nodded. “Me too. But she’s happy now. I’m glad she is happy.”

  “What gave you that thought, Riley? How do you know she’s happy?” Caroline set her half-eaten piece of pie down on the table and knelt on one knee, putting her small hands on the little girl’s shoulders. Riley shrugged.

  “I just know it, Granny.” Riley looked surprised. “Don’t you think she is in Heaven?”

  “Of course, I do, my dear. I… I was just wondering how you came to this conclusion so… you are so confident about it.”

  Riley’s eyes widened. “Granny, there’s nowhere else mama could have gone. There’s only one other place and God wouldn’t send her there. She was a good mommy and she loved everybody. She has to be in Heaven.”

  The little girl’s words provided a great deal of comfort for both Caroline and Alice. They looked at each other with sorrow mixed with pride.

  “Of course, you are right, my little darling,” Caroline wrapped her arms around the little girl. “I am proud of you for being so smart.”

  “I’m just like my mama, aren’t I?” Riley’s smile was so innocent that the two women had to look away for a moment.

  “Yes, Riley dear,” Caroline said softly, trying not to let the tears be heard in her voice. “You are very much like your mama.”

  “And you look like her, Aunt Alice!” Riley said. “I look like papa!” She sounded so proud of that fact, it made the women smile.

  “Mama,” Alice said, placing one hand on her mother’s arm. “I don’t know if I can handle these emotions. I am going home.” Her mother nodded at her.

  “Be careful, my dear. I will see you when I return later with your father.”

  Alice hurried away from the small crowd after giving Riley another hug and tousling Max’s hair as she went past him. He wasn’t the kind of boy that wanted to be hugged and kissed by his female family members. He’d much rather be left alone in his grief, or so it seemed. He and the other boys his age were not smiling, laughing, and playing like normal ten-year-olds.

  As she walked away, she glanced over her shoulder at them. She was impressed by the fact that Max’s friends were grave and solemn, seemingly out of respect for their friend and his deeply felt emotions. He was still seated on the wooden bench, with one friend on either side of him and another standing behind him, leaning against a large tree, fiddling with a weed in his hand. They weren’t talking at all. They were just sitting there in silence, watching the crowd of people around the table.
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  Alice spotted Adam and turned in his direction. He was standing alone now, Kyle and the other men having gone to the table to fetch some refreshments for themselves.

  “Adam. Are you going to get some cake or pie? The pie is delicious. Riley insisted we have some and she was correct. It is quite good.”

  Adam looked at her. For a moment, she was taken aback by the look in his eyes. His face was dark, haunted, fearful almost, and she could feel his pain just from standing near him. She stopped a few feet away, instinctively clutching the fabric on the front of her chest just where her heart was. “I… I am not very hungry. I think they will probably bring me something back. Even if I don’t eat it.”

  “You must eat. I hope you have not been going without. You know that I will come and cook for you anytime. I mean that, Adam. Anytime.”

  Adam nodded. “I appreciate it. I really do. You… you and your family are a blessing from God. Right now, I suppose I feel like I need to be alone with my memories.”

  “But you will not be alone. Remember that you have two beautiful children with you all the time.”

  “Yes. I will not forget about my children.” He almost sounded affronted and Alice was quick to attempt reparation.

  “I meant nothing by that, Adam, I hope you know. I was merely reminding you that you aren’t alone. And you have the angels with you, Jesus is with you. You are not alone in this sorrow.”

  “I know, Alice,” his voice was slightly softer now. He moved his eyes from staring directly at her to gazing at the crowd once more. She was sure he was looking at his children, one and then the other.

  “What do you suppose Max is thinking? It appears Riley is in good spirits. She knows her mama is in Heaven with Jesus. But I think Max… it will take more time for him to get over this pa…”

  “We will never get over it,” Adam said, interrupting her. “We will get through it but we will never get over it.”

  “Oh, dear. I seem to be saying all the wrong things.” Alice blushed, lowering her head. She shouldn’t have stopped. She should have left Adam in peace.