An Uncivilized Romance Read online

  He shook his head. “Not today, Rachel,” he mumbled. “Not today.”

  He said that every morning. He wondered the same thing every morning, and had throughout the summer. His equipment was getting old and would need to be replaced. He had repaired several of them but had noticed the windmill on his shed looked like it was about to topple over. He’d tried several different methods to steady it, but it still wasn’t right and didn’t look safe.

  His supply of food stuffs was getting low, as well. He would need to replenish many things, but had continued to push the task to the next day for months.

  He stepped down off the porch and walked to the shed. It would do him some good to check his supplies. The only way he had avoided going to Wickenburg for the supplies he needed was by going down the other side of the mountain to the small town of Arborville, which had a population of about 200 people. They were friendly enough to him and he didn’t have to stop and talk to anyone other than to request what he needed. However, the urge to visit Wickenburg and see his brother again was strong, and had been eating at him since the beginning of the year, when winter had closed him into the house with a severe snow storm. He expected the same thing would happen again this year, and it was coming up soon. He had to replenish now before the bad weather hit. He was so high up on the mountain, there was a good chance he would be covered in snow long before either of the small towns below were.

  He opened the door to the shed and went inside, taking down the lantern from the hook, and lighting it so that he could see in the dark small building.

  He surveyed his supplies. Two burlap sacks of flour left. One of sugar. Another filled with beans from his garden. A box filled with apples he refilled as often as he could. Another box of soap bars. Another box only half-filled with potatoes. Stacks of wood filled one side of the room. He ran his eyes past Rachel’s spinning wheel.

  He backed out of the room, putting out the lantern and replacing it on the hook. He would go hunting today, as he would need some meat for the winter.

  Sighing, he went back to the house, checking his chicken coop for eggs. A nice breakfast would get him going. That and a large mug of coffee.

  As he turned to go in the house, his eyes caught sight of the two poles with a long line of thin rope stretched between them. His mind took him back to many years before, when Rachel had been throwing a sheet over the line to let it dry in the afternoon sun. The large tub she had used to do laundry sat by the pole nearest the house. He didn’t use it anymore. It had a hole in one side. He hadn’t had the heart to let it go.

  He let himself dwell in the memory, ignoring the pain that swelled in his heart.

  “Rachel, come in and get something to eat!” he called out, lifting one hand and waving to her. “I’ve got meat on the stove, beans are ready, and I smashed up some potatoes, too.”

  Rachel smiled at him, looking radiant in the glowing sunlight. “I’ll be there in a minute, Mike. I’ve got another sheet to do.”

  “Leave it for later. Come inside and nourish yourself. You’ve done enough work this morning for ten men.”

  Rachel laughed, a sound that rang through the air and filled his heart with joy. There was never a moment of her life with him that he had not loved her to the fullest. “Oh, all right.” She came toward him and, when she was close enough, he held out his hand for her to take. Again, she laughed. “I think I can make it up the steps to the porch without help, Mike.”

  Mike widened his eyes. “Are you saying I can’t hold the hand of the woman I love?”

  Rachel shook her head, taking his hand in hers. “Oh no. That is a wonderful thing.” She giggled. “I can’t believe you made me come inside when I had only one sheet left to wash and hang up to dry.”

  “You’ve been working since dawn, Rachel. You never tire. You deserve to be treated like a princess and here I have you working from the moment you wake up. You need a break from all of it.”

  “I appreciate the thought. But it only means that when the break is over, I still have work to do.”

  “Oh, weren't you done for the day?” He asked the question knowing full well she was not done. She kept busy repairing clothes, weeding the garden, helping chop down trees and cut them up for firewood, and so much more. He knew she planned to go to town today to replenish some of their supplies, as well. Once inside, he pulled her into a tight hug.

  “I do have more things to do, yes,” her mouth was directly next to his ear when she spoke. The sound of her voice made him feel warm inside. His love for her was so strong, he felt it deep inside him. When they slept at night, when he woke up, he would lay in the dark, listening to her soft breathing, feeling the love flow through him. He had always hoped they would have several children and could picture them running around the cabin, laughing, and pulling on their mother’s dress.

  “Then you must take a break. It is after the noon hour and you have done enough work for now. Spend some time with your husband.”

  She pulled back from him and looked up in his eyes. “That is my favorite thing to do in the world. I love you, Mike.”

  “I love you, Rachel.” He placed a soft kiss on her lips and her forehead. She made to walk toward the counter where the food was waiting but he stopped her. “I am going to serve you, Rachel. Sit down and rest your feet.”

  Rachel tilted her head to the side. She was typically the one to serve him. “What has caused this sudden burst of affection, Mike?”

  He shrugged. “I love you. I can’t help myself. Sometimes it overwhelms me and I realize just how special you really are. There can’t be anything wrong with that.”

  “Oh, no,” Rachel shook her head, sitting at the table. “I am not complaining. Thank you, my love.”

  He returned to the stove and turned the meat over in the cast iron pan, enjoying the sizzle and the smell as it seared on both sides. He knew she liked her deer meat cooked well. He did, too. He liked the fact that they had many things in common. He was amazed that a man like him could attract a woman so beautiful and kind, a woman who put forth her best effort to please him and serve him. He wanted to serve her in the same way.

  He made her a plate and set it down in front of her, adding a cup of cooled tea, sweetened with several spoonful’s of sugar, just the way she liked it. He made himself a plate and, upon turning to the table, realized she was waiting for him to come to the table before she ate.

  “You don’t have to wait for me, Rachel. Go ahead and eat.”

  “No, I will wait for you,” she replied, shaking her head. “I want to say grace. It is important that we thank God for these blessings. We have a fine home, and I hope we will be able to bring a few children into this world to carry on for us.”

  He nodded, setting his plate and cup down before sitting. “You are right, my love.”

  He took both her hands in his and bowed his head. When he didn’t speak, Rachel began the prayer.

  “Our dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this meal and bless the hands that made it. You are a wonderful provider and we cannot ask for more on this earth than what you have given us. Give us the strength to continue our work and to praise You while doing so. Forgive us for our trespasses and allow us the forgiveness in our hearts to forgive others. Bless Mike and his family, bless my mother and give my father a hug for me. Bless our marriage and give us the patience to deal with each other when we are not feeling like being friendly toward each other. We pray to you in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

  Mike smiled at the last part of her prayer, saying “Amen” in a light-hearted tone. He smiled at her. “When do we ever feel like not being friendly toward each other? You always please me.”

  Rachel giggled. “Oh, I don’t think that is true, Mike. You shouldn’t lie.”

  They both laughed. He leaned across the table to give her another kiss, squeezing her hand before letting go.

  Mike’s heart was heavy when he went through the front door. His love for his wife had never ended. He missed her with every fiber
of his being. That day was forever stuck in his memory. It was the last day he had spent with her. On her way home from town with their supplies, she was bitten by a snake and died on the side of path. He didn’t find her until the next day, after being out searching for her all night. He would never know why she had taken a different route home that day.

  CHAPTER TWO

  JASON AND SARAH

  JASON AND SARAH

  “Why is it taking so long?” Jason’s voice rang out through the kitchen, making Sarah flinch. She turned to look at him.

  “There’s no need to yell, Jason. I can’t make the food cook any faster. Do you want to eat under-cooked food and be vomiting all afternoon?” She shook her head and turned back to the stove, pushing the chicken around in the pot with a large fork. “Then you’d just blame me for that, too.”

  “You should have started cooking sooner!” Jason threw himself into the chair, pounding both fists down on the table. “Next time do it right!”

  “I started cooking when you told me to. I asked you several times when you wanted to eat and you kept saying later. When you told me to start cooking, I did. I can’t…”

  “Don’t turn this around and blame me for it, woman! You should have known how long it would take to cook my lunch.”

  “I did not know when you were going to come in from the field.” Sarah hissed, trying to get control of her temper. She knew things would get very bad if she didn’t. However, after dealing with his abuse for so long, she was starting to lose control of her tongue. She pushed her auburn hair back, away from her sweaty face. A few strands had come loose from the bun she kept it in and they were irritating her.

  “I come in around the same time every day, don’t I?”

  She wanted to yell at him that no, in fact, he did not come in from the field at the same time every day. She never knew when he would tire out and take a break. Sometimes, he didn’t come in until late afternoon. Other times, it was shortly after he’d gone out. It was never consistent. If he came in late in the afternoon, he would find his food cold and she would be scolded. If he came in early, it was not ready and he yelled at her for it.

  It wasn’t like Sarah didn’t do her fair share of work. She kept the inside of the house tidy and clean. She worked to repair any damage to the house from his fits of rage.

  “I don’t know why I put up with you, woman,” Jason growled. “I should have chosen a much finer woman to marry. You are nearly worthless.”

  Sarah sighed as quietly as she could, biting her tongue to keep from spitting at him. He would never hear what she truly wanted to say to him.

  She put the slightly under-cooked chicken on a plate with peas and carrots she had steamed and turned to set it down on the table. Her hands were shaking from her anger and the plate clattered slightly, nearly tipping over into his lap. She held back a smirk. It would have served him right. He noticed it and glared at her through angry, narrow eyes. She turned away.

  It wasn’t just his spitefulness that had her upset that morning. She had come from the doctor yesterday with the news that she would be having a baby. The news frightened her more than anything. From the beginning, Jason had warned her that she should not get pregnant. However, she could not keep him from the pleasure all men got from their wives and had no way to prevent a child from being formed from it.

  She noticed when her monthly cycle stopped coming and she felt strange pains in her lower back. The doctor informed her that she would be having a baby but he was not able to tell her exactly when she would have it. She was probably nearly three months in.

  She didn’t want to tell Jason. She feared for her life. He didn’t need alcohol to make him mean. He was naturally mean.

  She turned once she reached the counter by the stove and leaned back against it, watching him shovel the food in his mouth. It disgusted her. Everything about Jason disgusted her. She could barely see what had attracted her to him in the first place.

  She came from a small family of Irish immigrants who had come to America to find a better life. She’d just been a baby, so she only knew life in America, but it had not been easy for her immigrant parents. They had worked like slaves for low wages in the southeast part of the country for most of her growing years. When she turned marrying age, she traveled across the country with her mother after her father died. They had ended up in Wickenburg. She was able to procure a small parcel of land with a house already built that was being auctioned off after the death of the original owner.

  Jason worked in the field as a young man, helping her and her mother keep the land prosperous. When her mother died, Jason remained there and wooed Sarah with sweet words and kindness. As soon as they were wed, he turned on her and she realized he had only been kind to draw her in so that he would have the land and house.

  He had brutalized her ever since, making her feel like the slave her parents had tried to avoid becoming. Now, to bring a baby into the world…

  She shook her head, turning away from the horrid sight of him stuffing food in his mouth, barely chewing and swallowing like a dog.

  Her disgust had to be plain on her face. The last thing she needed was him calling her out on it.

  “You got somewhere to be today?” He asked. She was surprised by the question and turned back to look at him.

  “No. Why?”

  “I saw you had somewhere to go yesterday.”

  Fear split through her body, making her tremble slightly and her legs weaken. She pushed up on the counter with her hands to keep herself steady, staring at him as if she was not afraid. “Yes, I just went to see a friend.”

  He snorted. “You don’t have any friends.” He shoved a forkful of food into his mouth and pointed at her with the fork, jabbing it at her. “I better not find out you're lyin’ to me, woman. You don’t want to lie to me.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t lie to you, Jason.” She wasn’t really lying. The doctor was her friend. Doc Brown was a kind, older gentleman who knew what Jason was like but didn’t dare interfere. She had begged him on several occasions not to when he saw the bruises Jason left on her. He told her she needed to call the sheriff; that she never deserved to be treated that way. However, she was afraid of Jason, sure that he would kill her if she said too much or brought the law on him.

  She pushed her hair back once again and continued to stare at him defiantly. How she wanted to stand up for herself. He would kill her, though. She knew he would.

  His eyes didn’t leave her as he poked his fork into a large chunk of chicken and put it in his mouth. He spoke while he chewed, which made Sarah’s stomach turn over. She felt queasy enough as it was without seeing the chewed-up food in his mouth. He was like a pig in slop.

  “I don’t want you goin’ out and seein’ people. You stay in this house and do what you’re supposed to do, you hear me?”

  She held her breath, afraid she would lose it if she said anything.

  “You hear me??” he yelled, opening his mouth wide enough for some of the food to fall out. Several small pieces spewed across the floor at her. She recoiled and turned her head away, looking down at the floor.

  “I hear you, Jason.”

  “You stay in this house!”

  “All right. I said I didn’t have anywhere to go anyway.”

  “You wouldn’t be able to even if you did,” Jason calmed down immediately, looking down at his plate to pick up the remaining bits of food on his fork. “I’m goin' to the Saloon. I won’t be back till late. You just stay in this house. Clean it up. It’s disgusting and dirty. You never do a good job cleaning. I should have noticed that when your mother was still alive. She did all the work.”

  “Don’t talk about my mother,” Sarah couldn’t help herself. It slipped out before she could stop it. She didn’t want him ever speaking of her lovely mother. She missed the woman every moment of every day. He had never been cruel when her mother was still alive.

  He stopped chewing for a moment, picked up the cloth napkin n
ext to the plate, and wiped his mouth with it. He shoved the chair back with his legs and stood up, coming close to her. When he was inches away, he pressed himself against her and spoke gruffly in her face.

  “What did you say to me?” He asked. She kept her face to the side, her eyes closed. His warm, stinking breath washed over her, filling her nose, and making her grimace. He grabbed her chin and made her face him. “What did you say to me, woman?”

  “I just… I just miss my mother very much, Jason.”

  He sneered. “She was a much better woman than you, Sarah. In so many ways.”

  She knew what he was implying. However, he had never slept with her mother. She tried to keep her anger bottled up deep inside. She tried not to tense up but failed. When he laughed at her, she felt tears stinging her eyes.

  No! Sarah chastised herself quickly. You will not let him see you cry!

  “I’m going to the saloon. Thanks for the grub. You are a pretty good cook.”

  With that sarcastic comment, he released her chin and turned away from her. Her hand went up to rub the sore spot he had left behind, easing the pain away. She kept her eyes on the floor and gripped the counter behind her until the front door slammed shut and she could hear the wheels of the wagon turning and the horses’ hooves pounding the dirt as he left.

  She went to the table and dropped herself into a chair, lowering her head to her hands. She let out her sobs.

  Things had been good between her and Jason for only a few short months before he knew he had her. She no longer loved him...that was certain. However, she was now pregnant and would bring a child into the world that could possibly be just like him, especially if he was around while the baby was growing up. If it was a boy, there was a good chance he would brutalize any woman he was with in the future. If it was a girl, she would most likely end up with someone just like her father, because that’s what she would be used to.